My Son's Artwork

6/18/05

Okay, so this morning my four-year-old tells me he wants to draw a picture of Winnie the Pooh, & that's all fine with me since I'm still completely hammered from my week. He talks to himself a lot when he draws & plays, so I'm just flaking out, tuning out the chatter, reading the "People" section of the paper, taking in the latest on Tom & Katie & Brad & Angelina. Then I sort of snap out of it as I hear my son saying, "...Pooh's penis..." So I look at his drawing & again, he proudly says, "It's Pooh's penis!" Sure enough, an intentional little bump is protruding from between the legs of his rendition of Pooh. (Bear in mind--no pun intended--that the legs are actually attached to the head & Pooh has no torso.)

What do I do? What do I do? Think quick, don't react, stay calm! He continues, "Mommy, do bears have penises?" I reply, "Boy bears do." "Yeah," he replies, "this is Pooh's penis." I then add, "But we don't see it because it's private." I calmly return to the list of Top 10 Bachelors (hey, I can dream, can't I?) while wondering what will come out of his mouth or his pencil next. Moments later, I am jostled out of my Gossip Column Stupor to the sound of erasing. Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch..."Can you help me erase it?" he asks after he has erased most of the member.

I am happy to report that this portrait of Pooh is once again G-rated.